Breaking of Barriers
by JuPMod
Summary: (New Life series) Stranded on an uninhabited world on a mission to secure needed material, Janeway and Paris learn more about each other, and in the procees each starts to allow the other into her/his heart.


Disclaimers: Star Trek: Voyager is owned by Paramount Inc. This story is   
owned by George Padovan. This story can be archived in the   
alt.startrek.creative archive, but will need the owner's permission   
before archiving anywhere else - archive or web page. This story is made   
for a non-profit use - reading. All positive feedback (Constructive   
crit, encouragement, etc), except for flames, are welcome at   
geordi@gti.net.  
  
Note: This story has references to novel "Mosaic" by Jeri Taylor. Also   
I took some ideas from my fellow J/Pers' stories, which I hope they   
don't mind if I use because I *liked* the ideas very much. My thanks!   
  
This story is rated PG.  
  
  
Voyager: New Life  
  
Breaking of Barriers   
By George Padovan  
  
"Captain's Log: It has been four days since the negotiated truce   
with the Hirogen and the ship's freedom from their occupation, yet the   
repairs to Voyager are still going slowly due to the extent of the   
damage done. Lt. Torres reports we need a supply of rosensite to repair   
some aspects of the plasma converters and the computer core, while a   
small supply of Zulkowski crystals are in need to repair Sickbay's   
holoemitters and circuitry so the Doctor can move back. We're now   
looking for the materials needed. In the meantime, we're focusing   
repairs on what can be fixed with what we have."   
Concluding the log, Captain Kathryn Janeway pressed a button on   
her Ready Room's desk terminal to finish, save, and store the log. She   
sighed and reached out to grab her coffee cup while rubbing her temple   
with the other hand. After taking a few sips, the commanding officer   
leaned back against the chair's backrest and tried to relax.   
However, as much as she wanted to relax, it was almost impossible   
with the frustration of repairing Voyager on her mind. The fight to   
retake Voyager had been extreme, and clearly she didn't want to see   
another race like the Hirogen anytime soon.   
Janeway picked up a PADD, containing Torres' report, which she had   
been given at the morning Senior Staff meeting, and reread the contents,   
which she had mentioned in the log.  
"Damn them!" the redheaded CO cried. She placed her cup down in   
fear of spilling the drink in her rage. Frowning, Captain Kathryn   
Janeway wished her ship were fixed up and 'new' again. Janeway thought   
again of how she and her crew had managed to get out of the Hirogen   
occupation.  
Everyone was fortunate that Kes, once freed from the neural   
interface while in Sickbay after being injured, was able to focus her   
powers to free herself a second time while in the World War II   
simulation. Afterward, she, with Ensign Kim's and the Doctor's help, was   
able to free Janeway as well. From that point forward, it was a massive   
undertaking to free the rest of the crew, end the simulation, and retake   
the ship. At the end, the surviving Hirogen agreed to the cease-fire and   
to take the holodeck technology Janeway offered their Alpha-leader   
before he died at the hands of Beta-leader. With the new technology,   
they left Voyager and its crew alone.   
"Damn them!" Janeway swore again at the Hirogen for what they had   
done to her ship and crew. The redheaded officer didn't blame the   
Hirogen for their way of life, but did blame them for their   
stubbornness to change their views toward other intelligent species,   
which led her to blame them for the wounds her ship and crew still felt.  
Repairs were focused on priority items first - sealing the hole on   
Holodeck One, propulsion, Sickbay, and other primary necessities. Lower   
ranked items, like some damaged replicators, minor problems with   
showers, personal computer terminals, etc., were placed on the backlog.   
The crew could do with Neelix's cooking, sharing bath facilities, and so   
on until the major repairs were completed.  
Some crewmembers, according the gossip, had thought Sickbay would   
be on a low priority list, since the Doctor didn't really seem to mind   
using Holodeck Three as a temporary sickbay. However, Neelix had pointed   
out that to keep the crew's morale high during these frustrating days,   
it would do good to have Holodeck Three available with the freed   
Holodeck Two while Holodeck One was placed on the backlog of the repair   
list. The crew, seeing that point, immediately changed their mind about   
Sickbay's priority. It *really* would be good to have Holodeck Three   
freed for the crew's enjoyment.  
Looking at the time, she realized it was close to 1100. Deciding   
that a walk about the ship would ease her mind, the Captain left the   
Ready Room. She hoped today would bring *good* news for a change.   
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Down in Engineering, the engineers were extremely busy at work,   
and the Chief Engineer was no exception. At the moment, Lt. B'Elanna   
Torres, along with Lt. Thomas Paris and Ensign Harry Kim, was working on   
getting the long-range sensors and main navigational deflector array   
working again. Torres appreciated Kim, her steady love, helping her   
since the engineering staff was pretty much spread throughout the ship,   
but the half-Klingon didn't dispute that Paris, her and Kim's best   
friend, was essential in repairing the main deflector.  
While working, the trio conversed as anyone would. At the moment,   
the Chief Engineer was fixing circuitry in an open panel on the wall,   
while Kim and Paris were fixing circuitry on another open panel next to   
her.  
"You know, I'm glad the Captain was able to destroy the neural   
interface controls," Harry piped. "I wouldn't have been able to do it.   
We were lucky Kes managed to switch the code so the Doctor and I could   
gain access to the controls to free the Captain."  
Paris smirked and shook his head. "'Lucky', indeed. Kes told me   
two days ago that the Doctor managed to free the Captain in time to   
prevent the Captain from shooting her."  
"What?!" Torres replied. "The Captain wouldn't shoot a member of   
her crew!"  
"B'Elanna," Paris said, "remember that the Captain thought she was   
a World War II French Resistance leader due to the neural interface. She   
thought Kes was sending a message to the Nazis thus betraying the   
resistance, so she was about to do what any resistance leader would do.   
The Captain was about to pull the trigger when her interface was   
disabled. Talk about 'perfect timing'."   
The half-Klingon gave a "Hmmmmmm." Tom and Harry couldn't tell   
whether the "Hmmmmm" was in response to Tom or something she was   
repairing. The two men guessed the former.   
A minute later, Torres finished her repairs and closed the door to   
cover the circuitry. Glancing at her wrist chronometer, she realized it   
was lunchtime. "Guys, it's time for lunch. Are you two finished yet?"  
"Almost," Harry answered. "Another five more minutes and we'll be   
done. Our long-range sensors will be finally operational again." Paris   
nodded his agreement.  
"Well then, I'll meet you guys in the Mess Hall." She was about to   
turn and leave when she glanced again at her raven-haired lover, who was   
closer to her. Looking up and down his back, she couldn't help but   
admire his form. Kim's body, as she knew from bedding him, was quite   
formed and muscled, especially that tight behind.   
Leering at the Chief Operations Officer's rear end, B'Elanna gave   
a soft growl before pinching his end with a hand. As expected, Harry   
jumped a bit in surprise and turned around to face her with a hand on   
his just-pinched behind. Paris, noticing his friend's reaction and the   
predatory gleam on Torres' face, was able to quickly put two and two   
together and figured what had happened.  
Lips curling into a lopsided grin, Lt. Torres departed leaving a   
flustered Kim and amused Paris behind. Face turning red, Kim heard   
giggling from across the room and saw Lt. Susanne Nicoletti eyeing him   
with a hand over her mouth while Ensign Vorik, next to her, raised an   
eyebrow at him. Flushing more from the knowledge that his lover's   
display of affection had been seen, Harry Kim turned back to the task of   
fixing the circuitry.  
"Well, Harry," Voyager's Chief Pilot whispered, "it seems B'Elanna   
is getting quite comfortable showing more Public Displays of Affection."   
He gave a full grin.  
"I'll say," Harry agreed before allowing a small grin to come to   
his face. He remembered last year, when they had first acknowledged   
their love for each other, they were quite uncomfortable about showing   
any PDAs, especially B'Elanna. Now during the past few months, she was   
slowly showing the crew how much she cared for Harry and was enjoying   
it!  
Tom slapped his buddy's shoulder. "I'm very happy you and B'Elanna   
could find love. You two deserve it."   
Being his best friend, Harry knew Tom very well. At the moment,   
the oriental man saw that his friend's cerulean blues didn't match the   
voice of his words. He saw some sadness in them.   
"Tom," Harry began seriously, "what about you? You haven't gone on   
a date in more than a year. Why'd you quit? You had never told me the   
real reason."  
The blonde man sighed and grew somber. "I'm tired, Harry. That's   
all. Most of the women onboard thought I'm a playboy then and still do.   
I don't think any of them consider having a serious relationship with   
me." Tom shrugged and went back to the repair work in front of him.   
"Maybe I'm not cut out for love."   
"What?!" Harry was shocked. "Don't *say* that! You'll find someone   
who will take you seriously. Don't give up hope."  
Tom just lightly shook his head. "Every year it seems I'll be   
spending the *entire* trip back to the Alpha Quadrant alone. No use   
denying what seems to be true. No one wants an *ex*-convict for a   
relationship."  
Then he gave a grin that his eyes didn't match. "Oh well, that   
means I'll be free to check out all the girls between here and the   
Federation. I'll finally be given the title 'Playboy of the Galaxy' once   
we get back to Earth."  
Harry didn't say anything else as he returned to his work. Tom   
seemed reluctant to continue the conversation either.   
While finishing up their task, Harry thoughts were on the man next   
to him. He had heard the underlying tone of disgust when Tom mentioned   
the title 'Playboy of the Galaxy'. The young man knew Tom didn't like   
the idea of being alone for the rest of his life, and deep down, he   
hoped and prayed that *someday* his best friend would find someone to   
share his heart. To close off yourself forever seemed like a *very*   
lonely existence.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
After lunch, Ensign Kim returned to his bridge post to complete   
the final adjustments of the long-range sensors. It was done in a short   
period of time; only thirty minutes after Kim entered the bridge,   
Voyager once again had eyes extending several light-years.  
Janeway was quite pleased and ordered for long-range sensors to   
detect for sources of rosensite and Zulkowski crystals.  
Luck was on Voyager's side, as Janeway had hoped it would be. At   
1523 hours, Ensign Kim finally found a source of rosensite.  
"Are you certain, Harry?" Janeway asked with a hopeful voice   
resonating as she stood next to the guardrail facing Harry at the   
Operations Station. Commander Chakotay was standing right behind her.  
"Positive, Captain," beamed Kim. "Sensors detected a large source   
of rosensite on an N-Class world only two days away at our present   
speed. Coordinates 055, Mark 033. The planet and system seem   
uninhabited; I'm not detecting any form of technological   
communications."  
"We still have to be careful," Chakotay stated. "We might find a   
pre-industrial society on that world."  
"Agreed," Janeway said. "We'll have to make certain we can get the   
rosensite without breaking the Prime Directive if we come across any   
pre-industrial society. Right now we need that rosensite to fix the   
plasma converters. B'Elanna doesn't like the idea of holding the   
converters together using a 24th century equivalent of 'tape and chewing   
gum' as Tom calls it. Frankly, neither do I." She turned to Hamilton who   
was manning the helm, while Paris was in Engineering helping Torres   
adjust the navigational array. "Mr. Hamilton, set course for that star   
system Mr. Kim detected."  
"Aye, Captain," the ensign complied. After punching a few buttons,   
he announced, "We're on course. At warp 4, ETA is two days as Mr. Kim   
stated."  
"Good," the Captain nodded her approval. It would be good to get   
the plasma converters fixed which would enable Voyager to cruise at warp   
7 again.  
Just then, Kim's console started beeping. Janeway and Chakotay   
turned and gazed back at Harry who made his report. "Sensors have just   
detected a source of Zulkowski crystals. They're at an M-class planet   
only two days away at coordinates 180, Mark 211."  
"That's in the opposite direction we're heading now," Janeway   
pointed out. "Harry, do you detect any stellar civilizations in the   
neighborhood?"  
The young man shook his head. "No, Captain. Sensors indicate we're   
in a quiet neighborhood. There's no sign of other ships or any post-  
industrial civilizations at all."  
A small grin appeared on Janeway's face. Chakotay knew that when   
she grinned like that it meant she had an idea. "Chakotay, assemble the   
senior staff in the Briefing Room in fifteen minutes for a quick   
conferance."  
"Aye, Captain," the big Indian obeyed. I'll know soon enough what   
you're up to, Kathryn, he thought as he carried out the order.   
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
The Senior Staff, except for the Doctor and Torres, who couldn't   
be removed from the pressing task of repairs, were all assembled in the   
Briefing Room. Each wondered what their Captain was up to.  
With everyone seated, Voyager's commanding officer started the   
conference. "Mr. Kim just 15 minutes ago detected a good size source of   
rosensite only two days away. We need that rosensite thus we're heading   
for it now.  
"However, sensors also detected Zulkowski crystals in the opposite   
direction we're heading, also two days away." She paused to let the   
information sink in.  
"Now, I know as well as anyone here that the crystals take low   
priority compared to the rosensite. However, I don't feel like hop-  
scotching across space to find resources we need thus wasting time which   
could be wisely used. Since we're in a quiet neighborhood devoid of   
stellar traffic, I believe a shuttle with only two people can make the   
trip for the crystals while Voyager continues onward for the rosensite."  
Tuvok nodded at the logic Janeway proposed to justify the plan.   
"It will save time," the Vulcan agreed. "Mining the crystals will take   
less time, a day, than the rosensite since we will need only a small   
amount to fix Sickbay compared to the plasma converters. A team of two   
can reach the planet, mine the crystals, and rejoin Voyager."  
Janeway gleamed at her old friend. "Precisely. Mining the   
rosensite will take another day, so Voyager will meet the shuttle   
within two days of departure."  
"Sounds like a good plan, Captain," Chakotay agreed with approval   
in his voice. "I'll lead the team."  
Shaking her head slightly with a smirk, she said, "Sorry,   
Commander, but *I'll* be leading the team."  
"Captain?" the First Officer asked with shock.  
The redheaded captain explained. "No engineering personnel can be   
spared for this mission because of Voyager's repairs. However, a   
scientist can easily do the job. Since I'm a scientist, I am able to   
lead the team in the mining efforts." She saw that Chakotay couldn't   
dispute what she stated. "Besides, a captain needs to stretch her legs   
once in awhile." Except for Tuvok and Chakotay, everyone else chuckled   
at the metaphor.  
Lt. Paris spoke up. "Captain, I would like to volunteer to be the   
second member of the team. I can pilot the shuttle and help you with the   
mining."  
"I was about to ask you that, Mr. Paris," she gave a smirk at her   
best pilot. "Out of all the pilots on the ship, you have the best   
knowledge of mining. I appreciate your help."  
Janeway faced them all again. "Mr. Paris and I will depart as soon   
as possible. So I want supplies and equipment ready in a shuttle within   
two hours."  
Tuvok understood. "I will inform the shuttle bay to prepare a   
shuttle for departure."  
"I'll organize the supplies and equipment, Captain," Paris told   
her.  
Neelix chimed in. "I'll pack up enough food to last you the trip."  
It seems everything was coming together smoothly, as Captain   
Janeway liked it to. "Are there any questions?" Seeing there were none   
she rose from her seat, as did everyone else, and barked, "Dismissed."  
Chakotay lingered a bit. His expression showed he disapproved of   
his friend leading this mission, but he had no basis to counter   
Janeway's orders and logic. Just fear for her safety.  
After everyone had left except for him and Captain Janeway, he   
said what he felt. "Kathryn, just be careful, okay? As your first   
officer, I can't find any basis to dispute your orders to lead the   
mission for the crystals. However, as your friend, I can't help but fear   
for your safety as well as Tom's."  
Kathryn placed a hand on her friend's arm and gave him a   
reassuring smile with gray-blues appreciating his words.   
"Understandable, Chakotay. Tom and I will be careful. It'll be just like   
a camping trip."  
The Indian gave a slight dimpled grin. "Well, you'll have to do   
without a bathtub for nearly a week."  
Laughter came out of Kathryn's mouth as she grinned up at his   
face. "I'll be fine. I went without a bathtub for several days on New   
Earth before you finished building me one. I can do without one for a   
week."  
Seeing her mirth made his day. "I'll make sure everything is ready   
on the shuttle," the Commander stated.  
"Thank you, friend," she smiled.  
With a grin of his own, the tall dark man left the Briefing Room   
while Janeway looked at the passing stars for a few moments before   
venturing across the bridge to her Briefing Room. There she waited,   
reading and signing reports until the time came for her to leave on the   
mission.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Nearly two days later, the Shuttlecraft Sacajawea was nearly at   
the end of its journey. Just a few hours away was the five-planet star   
system Stellar Cartography had yet to name. Two ringed Jovian worlds   
orbited close to the blue-super giant star while three smaller worlds   
orbited far enough into the star's region that life could be supported.   
The Sacajawea's occupants were aiming for the fourth planet.  
During the journey Captain Janeway and Lt. Paris had engaged in   
talk about particular holoprograms each would like to see. Janeway   
wanted to share her DaVinci Workshop program with the crew, so she   
wanted to expand the program to make the workshop big enough to house   
many. Paris on the other hand wanted to try out different kind of 20th   
century sports to see which one the crew enjoyed the most. However,   
Janeway pulled the plug on any attempts to coordinate a Voyager football   
league since the sport seemed likely to give the Doctor many visitors to   
Sickbay.  
Near the end of the journey now, Janeway was laughing and enjoying   
her protege's company. She liked his witty sense of humor on the Bridge,   
but alone she came to appreciate it more. Furthermore, the helmsman   
understood her humor better than anyone else; even a little better than   
Chakotay did.  
Tom was not shocked or even mortified to learn about Janeway's   
silly `funny bone' nor was he intimidated in her presence. He knew   
starship captains were human like anyone else. They felt love, pain,   
sadness and so on like him, so why should he have to feel like they were   
gods whenever they came within private space? Not him. He would treat   
them with courtesy but would not be afraid of them.  
Janeway's laughter, from the latest joke Lt. Paris had quipped,   
died away as she stared at her mentor's son sitting in the pilot's seat   
next to her. "Thomas Paris, you're incorrigible."  
The blonde pilot gave his famous Paris grin and shrugged his   
shoulders. "Pretty much the entire ship agrees with you. However, being   
incorrigible is part of my charm."  
"Indeed it is," Janeway smirked as her protege chuckled. "You've   
certainly came a long way from the brash young man I met at New Zealand,   
Tom."  
Tom made a few adjustments to the flight before answering. His   
lips were smiling a bit but his mask of protection came up upon hearing   
about New Zealand. "Well, I certainly don't want to disappoint my   
*mentor*. Having been given a second chance here in the Delta Quadrant,   
I don't want to destroy the good life I've found here."  
She saw the mask of protection come up around him, and decided not   
to press the issue of New Zealand. Tom still had a lot of demons from   
his past scarring him, and New Zealand was one that he definitely didn't   
want to talk about. However, once in awhile she knew this talented man   
needed guidance and encouragement to hopefully one day get past those   
demons.  
"You certainly have found a good life here, Tom," Janeway stated.   
"As I said before, you came a long way and I'm glad to have you as one   
of my best officers."  
Those light-blues of his connected with her gray-blues and he saw   
she meant every word said. "Thanks, Captain," he gave a wan grin but his   
eyes told her he was sincere. "When you gave me the field commission, I   
promised I wouldn't let you down, and I will continue to keep that   
promise."  
With a small grin, Voyager's captain reached over and patted his   
hand lightly in a friendly assuring gesture. "I know you won't." She   
turned to her console and changed the subject to relieve the tension.   
"How much further to our destination?"  
"ETA in two hours, Captain," Paris replied looking over the data.   
He was glad she'd changed the subject, and his relief was noticeable in   
his expression.  
The two worked in silence for the next five minutes until the   
computer beeped an alarm alerting them. Tom checked the sensor data and   
found another ship was rapidly approaching them at high warp. His eyes   
grew wide at what he read.  
"Captain! Another ship is rapidly approaching us from our top   
starboard bow." He turned his head to lock his eyes with his commanding   
officer. "It's Hirogen."  
"What?!" Janeway cried. "We made a deal with them! They're not   
supposed to be bothering us anymore! Besides Voyager's long-range   
sensors didn't detect any Hirogen vessels!"  
"Yeah, well, this ship is coming at us in attack mode! Their   
weapons are charged and ready!" Tom's fingers did their dance to   
coordinate the shuttle's evasive maneuvers while the Captain raised   
their shields and prepared phasers.  
"Good thing we discovered their armor's weak spot," Janeway   
muttered angrily as the Hirogen ship rapidly approached them.   
Tom nodded in agreement since he knew she was referring to the day   
Voyager had been captured by the Hirogen more than a month ago. That day   
they had been surrounded and pounded away at. Tuvok and Ensign Kim had   
during the battle discovered the weak spot in their plated hull armor,   
but it was too late. At the same time, the Hirogen had destroyed their   
shields, disabled their weapon systems, and prepared to board Voyager.  
Now this time, they were ready to take on the Hirogen.   
The Hirogen warship passed overhead and fired their phaser canon   
on the small shuttlecraft. Janeway returned fire with equal tenacity.   
The two ships dodged and fired at each for a few minutes until Janeway   
and Paris were being hailed.  
Opening the channel, Janeway looking into the small view screen   
glared at the Hirogen leader. "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the   
Starship Voyager. Why are you attacking us? We made a deal that your   
people would not bother my ship and crew again if we give you our   
holodeck technology."  
The masked Hirogen leader on the screen stood tall and was not   
frightened. "I and my comrades did not agree with that deal. Therefore   
we separated from those who seek to destroy our way of life and went out   
on our own.  
"I heard about *you*. You made a worthy prey to the Hirogen who   
had occupied your vessel. Now you'll be *our* relic. Once we show the   
other Hirogen I have captured the great prey Captain Janeway, they'll   
abandon their plans to use your holodeck technology and return to the   
old ways of life. You are *ours*!"  
Janeway's voice was hard and face steely, as they always were when   
Janeway was facing threats. "I, my pilot, and this ship are *not* yours.   
We'll not allow you to take us."  
The Hirogen nodded. "Then you'll make our capture of you more   
sweet since we'll be fighting in a fair hunt. Prepare yourselves,   
*prey*!" He terminated the channel.  
The shuttle rocked when the Hirogen fired again.  
"Shields down to fifteen percent!" Paris hollered. "I'm converting   
transporter power to the weapons!"  
Firing, Janeway used the boosted phaser power to weaken the   
Hirogen's shields even further. "We need another hit to destroy their   
shields!"  
Another hit registered on the shuttle. "Shields now at 5%!" Tom   
cried. "We need to take them out now!"  
"I'm converting power from the warp engines to the weapons!"   
Janeway saw the Hirogen ship was about to maneuver right under them.   
Just as they passed she fired on them just as they fired again.  
The Sacajawea violently shuddered from the blast. "That's it, our   
shields are gone!" the blonde pilot reported. "However so are theirs."  
Janeway knew that whoever fired first on the next round would be   
the victor. "We better make our next shot count, Lieutenant."  
The warship came about right on the shuttle's stern. The two ships   
fired but the Hirogen fired a different weapon this time. Sacajawea   
fired its phasers and destroyed the Hirogen's warp engine thus creating   
an explosion that toppled the shuttle end over end. However the Hirogen   
fired their dampening weapon, thus dampening the ship's weapons systems.  
When Paris had brought the shuttle under control, the two officers   
were able to determine the damage caused by the battle and mostly from   
the shock wave of the exploded enemy vessel. Their victory was bitter   
sweet when they realized the extent of their ship's injuries.   
Life support was failing and would be gone in two hours. Weapons   
and communications were gone thus they couldn't face another alien   
attack or call for help. On top of that, Tom had bruises on his forehead   
while Janeway had a gash over her left temple.  
"It seems we have no options but to make best speed to the M-class   
planet we were heading for, Mr. Paris," Janeway concluded. "Get us there   
as fast as possible."  
"Aye, Captain," Paris obeyed. He agreed. It was better to be on a   
breathable world than to die in a shuttle when the life support went   
out.  
Converting whatever power he could find to the engines without   
taking off whatever was left of life support, Paris raced Sacajawea   
toward the uninhabited M-class world for the survival of its two   
passengers.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Orbiting high above a N-Class planet, Voyager scanned the surface   
of the world looking for the best place to prospect for the rosensite.   
Commander Chakotay was relieved that there were no intelligent species   
or any signs of a civilization on the surface. They could mine the   
material needed without worrying about the Prime Directive or any   
claims on the territory.   
With the knowledge that they could mine worry free, the Chief   
Engineer was informed to assembled her team and begin mining operations   
at once. The half-Klingon couldn't have agreed more. The plasma   
converters were on the brink of being total junk. She assembled her team   
and told them to beam down to the coordinates given and start the   
mining.   
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
In Transporter Room 1, Lt. Torres was just entering the room to   
see the last of her team beamed down to the surface. She and Ensign Kim   
was the last to leave the ship. Looking over at the control booth,   
B'Elanna eyed her boyfriend, who handed the controls back to the   
operator on duty. "Well, Starfleet, let's get going. The sooner we get   
the rosensite, the sooner we can make repairs and meet up with the   
Captain and Tom again."  
Harry gave a slight grin as he stepped down from the booth.   
"Agreed. I'm wondering how they're fairing with their mission," he   
mentioned as the two officers with their equipment in hands walked onto   
the transporter pad.   
Torres gave a smirk. "I'm sure they're having the time of their   
lives. Mining on a M-Class world, while we're on a *N*-Class, sure   
looks like a place to be.   
"Besides, I know Tom and the Captain enjoy sparring in jokes,   
humor, and wits. They perhaps would consider what they're doing a   
vacation." Then she grinned. "I bet they'll be happy campers once they   
return."  
A chuckle escaped Harry's lips. "I'm willing to back up that bet.   
Ready?"  
Kim's girlfriend and love nodded before she turned to the young   
oriental woman manning the transporter controls. "Energize."  
The two Voyager officers were beamed off the ship with thoughts   
on what their comrades were probably doing light-years away.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Lt. Thomas Paris, devoid of his red Starfleet uniform jacket and   
wearing just his turtleneck, stepped down the rear ramp of the   
Sacajawea and gazed about his surroundings. The shuttle was in the   
middle of a green meadow surrounded by forest not far from a range of   
small mountains, only 1,000 feet high, that could be seen over the   
forest top. Taking a deep breath, he sighed as he waited for Captain   
Janeway to return.  
Four hours ago, they had barely managed to arrive before life-  
support failed completely. With life-support gone, they had kept the   
shuttle's doors open to allow air circulation naturally to flow. After   
that the two officers treated each other's injuries.  
With their wounds treated, Janeway had told Tom to do a complete   
damage survey of the shuttle while she prospected for the crystals,   
which sensors revealed were abundant in the mountains nearby.   
Having finished the damage survey, the blonde man had very   
little to do until his commanding officer returned. He looked up at the   
pinkish-blue sky, which had some small white clouds shattering about.   
The blue-giant sun was only a bit bigger than Sol looked like from the   
Earth's surface.   
"Sure looks beautiful though," Tom muttered at the sight. The sun   
was setting and he noticed a few stars could be seen in the sky   
already.   
Wondering where Janeway was and whether she had forgotten the   
time, Voyager's Chief Conn Officer was about to decide to search for   
her when he heard the Captain's voice.   
"Tom!" she shouted as she came out of the forest toward him.   
Liked him, she too had taken off the uniform jacket. She carried a kit,   
containing mining tools and tricorder.  
"Captain," he smiled as she approached. "Glad you can make it.   
You're just in time for the sun set." He pointed to the darkening sky.   
"I was wondering whether you were so engrossed in your work that you   
decided to set housekeeping already."  
Chuckling, she swatted his arm as she arrived next to him.   
"You're always joking." She tucked a stray lock of auburn hair out of   
her face and over her head to rest with the other locks of her short   
cropped neck-length hair.   
"Better than worrying all the time though," he shrugged.  
Opening the kit, Janeway pulled out a finger-sized crystal.   
"We're in luck. I found a cave, an hour ago, at the base of those   
mountains. The crystals can easily be mined from there. Tomorrow, we'll   
spend the day digging up enough crystals to fix Sickbay's holo system   
and the holodecks dozens of times over."  
"That's good," Tom mentioned as he took the crystal and look at   
it closely. "With these crystals and the emitters we took down that the   
Hirogens installed, we don't have to worry about fixing the holo   
systems for a *long* time." He handed the crystal back to Janeway, who   
placed it back in the kit.   
Turning as they walked back to the shuttle, Janeway led the way   
as she spoke over her shoulder to her pilot. "How's the shuttle? Can we   
repair it to leave?"  
Tom shook his head and frowned. "Sorry, Captain. Looks like we   
have to book a room on this world until Voyager gets here."  
She turned to him as they stood on the Sacajawea's ramp. "It's   
that bad?" Her gray-blues showed her concern and worry.  
Paris nodded his head grimly before leading into the shuttle. He   
pointed to an open panel in the wall. The circuits inside looked fried.   
"Life-support is completely shot. We won't be able to survive a few   
minutes in space let alone several days. We were *very* lucky to get   
here in time.  
"We can repair shields and weapons, but they'll be weak. Only 10   
percent of normal.   
"Subspace communications are shot as well but I have an idea."   
Janeway turned from the fried panel to focus on Tom. "According to   
calculations, if we hook up the distress beacon to the shuttle's   
communications power and array, we can able to send a signal strong   
enough to reach three-fourths toward the system Voyager now is in. When   
they reach the planned rendezvous point to pick us up, they'll be able   
to pick up the distress signal and come here to rescue us."  
The Captain sighed. "That means we'll be spending several days   
here."  
"Sure looks like it," Tom agreed.  
Janeway walked over to the replicator. "The replicator?"  
Tom knew what she was asking. "Sorry. You'll have do without your   
morning coffee."  
"Oh well," she relented. "I'll have to do with Neelix's coffee   
substitute." The red headed captain put away the kit and picked up the   
basket containing drinks, sandwiches, soup, and other things Voyager's   
Talaxian chef had created. She held up a sandwich to Tom with a small   
amusing grin. "Your peanut-butter and jelly sandwich."  
"Thanks," he gave a lopsided grin as he took the comfort food.   
The two ate together in silence as the night settled in and they   
have to turn on the shuttle's interior lights to see. After the meal,   
they went outside to look up at the star-filled sky.  
"I don't think I could stand to eat Starfleet rations or Neelix's   
prepared food for several days," Paris mentioned after only a couple   
minutes gazing at the sky.  
Janeway nodded her head. "I agree. My taste buds may not tolerate   
the torture." They chuckled and laughed from her joke.   
"Well," the pilot mentioned, "we can see whether this world can   
provide something better than Neelix's creations."  
Turning to look up at his handsome face, she gave a smile. "Not a   
bad idea, Lieutenant." He turned to lock his eyes with hers. "Tomorrow   
morning, we'll jury-rig the beacon as you suggested. Then we'll start   
the mining efforts. The following day we'll go on an expedition into the   
forest to find edible food stuff we can use as well as for Voyager."  
"That's sounds like a plan to me, Captain." Tom smiled at her   
with eyes blazing. He trusted Janeway completely with his life and knew   
he would follow her even into the blazing inferno of Hell.  
Janeway smiled back fully. Her trust in Tom was unwavering. She   
knew that she could rely on his loyalty and support without regards come   
what may.   
"Well now, Tom, what you suppose we can do for the next few hours   
until we turn in?" Her eyes still held his.  
Looking back at the stars, Tom Paris pointed to a stellar   
grouping which Janeway's gaze followed. "We can play `Create and Name   
That Constellation.'"  
"Now that's a game I have enjoyed countless of times when I was   
on the surface of an unexplored world back in the Alpha Quadrant," the   
Captain supported with playful voice. "To see pictures in the stars and   
to give them names."  
"Same here, Captain." Tom's voice indicated he was smiling and   
would welcome the challenge.  
With a hand on his shoulder, Captain Janeway started the game.   
The two spent hours looking for pictures in the sky and giving them   
names. It was a pleasant time for both as they found comfort in their   
companionship and the fun-times of the game.  
Once both felt sleep was coming, they returned to the Sacajawea   
and slept in the bunks pulled-down from the walls. They slept knowing   
tomorrow would be a long day.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
The next day after eating a light breakfast, Janeway and Paris   
went to work getting the distress signal broadcasting. It took awhile to   
remove the distress beacon from its compartment and several hours to   
jury-rig the beacon to the communications array and power systems. By   
the time lunch was approaching, the distress signal was broadcasting at   
its best power toward Voyager.  
"Well, that's that," Lt. Paris proclaimed when he read the data   
on the computer screen. "The distress signal is broadcasting. All we   
have to do now is wait."   
Janeway patted his shoulder and gave a teasing expression. "I'm   
sorry, Lieutenant, but we're not going to sit around waiting for   
Voyager to show up. You're helping me get those crystals."  
He turned to her with a mocking disappointed face but with light-  
blues dancing with mischief. "Nuts! I was thinking we can lounge around   
in the sun and try to get a nice tan."  
"Maybe if you're good, I'll allow it," she said seriously but her   
gray-blues held her mirth.   
"Aye, Captain," he gave his famous Paris smile, which caused   
Janeway to break free a grin.  
Still grinning she lightly punched him on the forearm. "Let's eat   
lunch then do our excavating."  
Taking in what was in the basket, Paris grimaced at what he saw.   
"I'm afraid we ate the edible dishes. What's left is pleeka rind   
stew and Neelix's hair pasta."  
The Captain wrinkled her nose in distaste. "At least we have some   
tea to bog down the taste. Or we can have the Starfleet rations?"  
Shrugging, Tom helped him himself to the hair pasta while Janeway   
gave in to the rations. "Either way, Captain, it's a Kobayashi Maru for   
our tongues."   
Janeway chuckled at the reference to the famous no-win scenario.   
"Tomorrow we'll search to see whether we can *change* the program."  
This time it was Tom's turn to chuckle for catching the reference   
to Captain James Kirk's solution to the Kobayashi Maru. "For this no-  
win scenario, I'll gladly do the honors of *rewriting* the program."  
Both ate their lunch in good stride before taking the mining   
equipment and making their way to the cave the Captain found the   
previous day. Tom found, what Janeway already knew, that the crystals   
were sticking out of the rock about 100 meters from the cave's entrance,   
thus making the excavating much easier.  
They spent the entire afternoon cutting, excavating, and storing   
the Zulkowski crystals in several standard Starfleet containers. When   
the blue sun was setting, they had enough crystals to fix Sickbay and   
Holodeck 1 with plenty left over for future repairs.   
Returning to the shuttle just when night settled in, the two   
exhausted Starfleet officers placed away the equipment and the storage   
containers before deciding to spend the night outdoors under the stars.   
Sensors found no evidence of any large predatory animals nor   
reptiles and insects that could poison them. It was perfectly safe and   
comfortable outdoors as in the shuttle.   
Voyager's chief pilot started a roaring campfire while the   
commanding officer prepared combination dinner of rations and remaining   
leftovers of Neelix's efforts. After the meal, the two placed their   
sleeping bags on opposite sides of the fire and sat down on them. They   
once again engaged in conversation across the fire from each other   
while looking at the stars.   
After nearly an hour of playing the constellation game again, Tom   
noticed, for the first time, Janeway was very relax and having a good   
time despite the situation that they were stranded on a planet and   
Voyager may not arrived for another day or two. This surprised him.   
Rarely would he ever witness his saviour and mentor enjoying   
herself without restriction. When she had attended parties on Voyager,   
she kept pretty much to herself, engaging in conversation with other   
members but not showing much of herself. She had been pretty much open   
to Tuvok and Chakotay, and a bit open to the rest of the Senior Staff,   
but she was *never* wide-open as he saw her now. Full of delight and   
spirit glowing. The soft glow of the fire dancing on her soft face made   
her look beautiful and radiant. He found himself liking this side of his   
Captain *very* much.  
"You're very relaxed tonight, Captain," Tom mentioned with a   
slight smile.   
Janeway titled her head down, from the star gazing, to look at   
him. "Oh?" She arched an eyebrow.  
"I never seen this side of you before. You look like you grew up   
loving the outdoors - going camping, swimming, etc." He smiled more   
broadly.  
His statement made Janeway smirk. "When I was a teenager, I   
started slowly enjoying the outdoors. However, I *despised* it when I   
was a child."  
Tom's eyebrows shot up in surprised. "Really? You *hated* the   
outdoors?"  
"Not the outdoors *overall*, Tom," she emphasized. "I mostly   
hated going on the camping trips my family went on. I grew up getting   
used to replicators and other civilized conveniences. My parents were   
*traditionalists*. They wanted me to know the old ways so I wouldn't   
grow up being dependent on technology for everything.  
"So they took me on camping trips, made me take tennis lessons,   
eat cooked food made from scratch instead of replicated food, etc. I   
despised it then."  
"And now?" Tom prompted with curiosity.   
Janeway gave a whimsical grin as her eyes focused on a far away   
place in her mind. "Now I appreciate everything they did for me. I   
realized as an adult how much the knowledge and skills I had learned as   
a child were valuable."  
After a few moments of silence with only the crackle of the fire   
heard, she returned from the journey her mind wandered and focused on   
her pilot again. "What about you? Did you enjoy the outdoors when you   
were a child?"  
Tom gave the full `Paris Smile'. "Yep. For a month each summer I   
stayed with my grandfather at his cabin in the mountains. Just a damn   
beautiful place with forest, a clear blue lake, and the sight of the   
snow-peaked mountains.   
"He taught me a lot of things. I'll never forget him." His face   
sobered a bit as the blonde man gaze into the fire to avoid those gray-  
blues looking at him. "He died when I was fourteen."  
Her heart went out for him. "I'm sorry."  
Slightly waving a hand, Tom dismissed it. "That's okay. It was   
close to his time." He caught her eyes again. "After he died, the   
Admiral inherited the place and sold it. From that moment onward until   
the Academy, I spent the summers at the beach house my mother owned."   
He gave a grin, which didn't match the mood in his eyes. "I had fun   
times there too. I already knew how to swim from the times with grandpa   
in the lake, so I took it up a lot when I went to the beach."  
Janeway felt a change of focus was required. "As you know, I liked to   
swim a lot too when I was a teenager. I learned to scuba-dive as well."  
"Really? I didn't know that!" Paris gave a grin with laughing   
eyes.  
The Captain mockingly gave him the `Can the act!' look, but she   
inwardly was quite pleased to see the sparkle return to those gorgeous   
sapphire gems of his. Also she was tactful not to bring up the subject   
of Tom's `source' about her life knowing quite well Tom first knew   
about her during her junior year at the Academy. The `source' was still   
a painful subject to him.  
"Do you want to hear this or not, Mr. Paris?" She arched an   
eyebrow, but he could see her twinkling eyes.   
Tom lowered the volume on his mirthful face. "Of course,   
Captain."   
Voyager's auburn commanding officer smirked and slightly shook   
her head. "As I said, I enjoyed swimming too, especially scuba-diving."   
Once again those gray-blues told Tom she was going down Memory Lane. "I   
remember every place I dived. I went to the Hawaiian Islands, the   
Caribbean, the Los Angeles reef, and the underground caverns on Mars."  
A tiny grin came to her. "I remembered seeing all those buildings   
and 20th century structures in the Los Angeles reef. After our trip to   
20th century Los Angeles, I did a comparison and found that not much had   
changed for Los Angeles between 1996 and the time of the Great Hermosa   
Quake of 2047, which sank the city. The city looked the same then as it   
did in 1996."   
Paris chuckled, which caught Janeway's attention. "You may find   
it hard to believe, Captain, but I *too* went scuba-diving at the   
Los Angeles reef."  
"Really?" This certainly caught her attention. She knew he could   
swim but scuba-dive?  
"Uh-huh." He slightly nodded his blonde head. "However, I didn't   
do it for the pleasure of diving but for the pleasure of seeing the   
*historical* value of the place."  
A knowing smile spread across her face. It made sense now. "Of   
course, you're a 20th century American history bluff. Seeing an *actual*   
20th century American city preserved so well must had piqued your   
curiosity."   
"You got it." His full smile appeared again. "To see structures,   
vehicles, signs, items, etc. of the time was a thrill to me." Then he   
gave his famous lopsided grin. "Of course, I had to *first* learn to   
dive before I could satisfy my curiosity."   
Paris was pleased to hear Janeway laugh out fully. To hear her   
rich laugh was pleasure indeed.   
"Tom," Janeway grinned at him after her laughter died down, "you   
could've just taken the tour like the majority who didn't know how to   
dive."  
A scoff came out of the young man, and Janeway was a bit amazed to   
see similarities between him and his father, the Admiral.   
Paris frowned. "Captain, those submersible tours wouldn't been   
enough for me to *feel* the buildings, the metal, and everything in my   
hands. To actually *touch* the spirit of the times." Janeway was quite   
literally taken aback at the compassionate expression he wore.   
Seeing her shocked face, Tom immediately covered up the   
compassionate man and hid again by joking. "Of course, I wanted to have   
a few souvenirs of the place, and there was no way I could grab   
anything from the inside of a submersible." He chuckled a bit.  
"After I dove a few times there, the only other place I dived was   
at Hawaii. I haven't dived since because of the Academy and other   
commitments."  
Tom yawned then. "I think I'd better turn-in. Good night,   
Captain."   
Janeway slightly nodded her understanding. "Good night, Tom. See   
you in the morning."  
Slipping into his bag, Lt. Paris turned on his side away from her   
view. A few moments later, Janeway could hear the soft breathing and   
knew he was asleep.  
Still looking softly at the blonde head before her, Janeway's   
mind was churning on what she had witnessed. Tom's expression,   
including his soulful eyes, for a brief moment was full of compassion,   
warmth, and spirit as he told his reason for diving instead of taking   
the tour. She had knew that underneath the joking, cocky exterior was a   
very kind and caring person, but this was the first time *ever* she saw   
the real and true Tom Paris emerge. Compassion, warmth, spirit,   
wisdom and every admirable trait a true Starfleet officer should   
exhibit.   
Janeway had known about the rift between Tom and his father. Ever   
since the Icarus mission, the Admiral kept pushing his son to be `The   
Best of the Best' but no longer giving praise for good work. Instead he   
took out his feelings left after the mission onto his only son by   
telling him do better than this or that. Tom wanted his father to be   
proud of him, so he complied.   
However that brought his downfall at Caldik Prime. Feeling he had   
let the Admiral down, Tom lied in order to keep his father's love, but   
the guilt of his three friends' death made him tell the truth later,   
which cost him his career. The outraged Admiral disowned his son.   
In the end Tom had lost *everything*.  
A tear ran down Kathryn Janeway's cheek. She immediately brushed   
it off. To think that he had submerged his true self ever since Caldik   
Prime was sad. Starfleet had lost a worthy officer because his father   
had refused to take counseling after his experience in a Cardassian   
prison.   
Thinking about when she met him at the Auckland Prison, she knew   
she had thought of him as arrogant, selfish, and a traitor. Despite her   
sympathy for Tom because of Caldik Prime and his father, Janeway had   
hated Tom for making matters worse by joining the Maquis and betraying   
the Federation.  
Gods to think I *hated* him then! Janeway mentally stated.   
To tell the truth, she had been glad that the true Tom Paris was not   
totally submerged. He had shown a bit of his true self   
during the Caretaker Incident, and seeing that tiny bit convinced her   
that there was still hope for Tom. He had just needed another chance to   
prove himself from the mistake of Caldik Prime, and Janeway gave him   
that chance.   
Captain Janeway gave a small proud grin down at the sleeping form   
of her protege and good friend. Her eyes were filled with moisture.   
"Thomas Eugene Paris," she whispered softly as a few tears ran   
down her cheeks, "I know I made this promise before but I'm going   
to repeat it again with an additional promise." She gave a small sigh   
before continuing.  
"I promised you that when we get back to Earth, I'm going to   
stand by your side to prevent you from going back to prison and to   
reinstate your place in Starfleet officially. You belong there.   
If Starfleet is going to be stubborn not to see past your mistakes to   
what you *truly* are, may any gods they believe in protect them for   
they'll feel my wrath upon them.  
"But further more, I promise you that I will *not* see you fall   
from grace again. You've come so far and to see you fall again would   
bring great sadness. You will always be a good friend to me. Thank you   
for the rest of my life."  
Dashing away the tears from her face, Kathryn Janeway slipped   
into her sleeping bag onto her back. She stared up at the stars; a   
place she knew in her heart where she and Tom belonged. With that   
thought, she closed her eyes and fell asleep a few moments later.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
In the morning, the Captain and Lt. Paris began preparations for   
their forest expedition. In backpacks, they packed sleeping bags, food,   
water, tricorders, and other tools and equipment they might need. Before   
departing they made sure the distress beacon would continue to send out   
a signal for the nearly two days they would be away from the shuttle.  
Finding everything was set, the two went off to explore the forest   
away from the hills.  
During the entire day they hiked through the dense forest, they   
scanned for natural food that were not only nutritious but also   
quite edible to the human tongue whether raw or cooked. The two found   
several varieties of alien vegetables as well as fruit. They hoped that   
Neelix wouldn't ruin the foods' flavor once he started cooking with   
them.  
One particular fruit they found by mid-afternoon was purplish-  
pink and was shaped liked a cross between a pineapple and banana.   
However, the tricorder could only work to say it was safe to eat; to   
test to find whether it was edible they have to *orally* test it.  
As usual, Janeway, being captain, was able to get her helmsman to   
be the `guinea pig' much to her amusement and his dismay. After all,   
rank does have its privileges.   
Grimacing, Paris took a piece of the fruit and took a bite out of   
it. He had already tasted six vegetables and eight other fruits and   
found a quarter of the total to be unsatisfying to his taste buds. His   
expression immediately turned into one of satisfying delight after   
trying this ninth fruit type.   
"Hmmmm, not bad," the young pilot complimented before eating the   
rest of the fruit piece. "It's tangy with a taste between a banana and   
apple."  
Janeway knew Tom was not lying since he was one of a few members   
of the ship, besides her, who has a sensitive tongue. She took a bite   
of the purple-pink fruit.  
"You're right, it's not bad at all," she agreed. "Let's pick up   
some to last us awhile until Voyager gets here."   
After picking up a couple dozen of the fruit, the officers   
returned to their expedition.  
By the end of the day, they came across a blue-green lake nearly   
a half kilometer across. It was beautiful and it reflected the sunlight   
radiantly. It was a fresh water lake according to the tricorder but it was   
filled with algae, which gave it the greenish color, therefore it was   
not drinkable.  
With the blue sun setting, the two decided to set camp for the   
night next to the lake. Tomorrow they would return to the shuttle   
another route so they could search for other fruits and vegetables   
other than the ones they found.   
Janeway and Paris set up their camp as they had the previous   
night - each other's sleeping bag on either side of the fire. They ate   
Starfleet rations with some fruit for desert. While dining, they   
watched the night came out and watched the stars being reflected off   
the lake's surface.   
After dinner, they sat across from each other as the other night.   
Janeway decided to try to finish reading a novel on a PADD she had   
brought along from Voyager to keep her occupied when she sometimes   
wanted to be alone instead of conversing with her protege. Paris took   
out a work PADD and set about finishing his 20th century garage   
holoprogram, so he could indulge in a hobby of fixing up automobiles of   
the time. The first car would be a 1969 Camero.   
It was an hour later when Tom had finished his garage program and   
placed the work PADD aside. He glanced up to watch Janeway across the   
fire. She was still reading her novel as she lay on her side.   
Tom wondered about her outdoor experiences. She had stated she   
didn't mind camping outdoors now compared to when she was a child. His   
captain enjoyed swimming and scuba diving, thus he figured she clearly   
didn't mind going to beaches, having swimming-pool parties, and other   
outdoor events involving water. Of course, she really took pleasure in   
having baths thus naturally she wouldn't mind those hot jacuzzi tubs.   
Thinking about her outdoor experiences made him wonder about   
New Earth. What did she and Chakotay do on that planet anyway?   
According to the official reports, she had no choice but to let go when   
her research into finding a cure was destroyed. After that, she had   
taken up gardening and other things in doing her part to survive.   
However Tom ever since then wondered what did she and Chakotay ever did   
*unofficially* on New Earth. This line of thinking made him grin.  
While Voyager's Chief Conn Officer was in another place, he was   
unaware that Janeway was looking at him. She caught him staring at her   
but realized his eyes were unfocused telling her his mind was totally   
occupied in thought. When he started grinning, her lips gave a lopsided   
grin as well. She was wondering whether he was thinking something   
*dirty*.  
"Tom?" she spoke to get his attention. He was not aware of her.   
"Tom!" Janeway spoke louder, which startled Tom out of his daydreaming.   
She grinned at him. "You were somewhere else for awhile there. Like to   
tell me where or do I take a guess? Like say Risa?"  
Realizing she had caught him staring at her while daydreaming,   
Tom's cheeks blushed a bit but he chuckled to hide his embarrassment.   
"Naa, you're not even in the right quadrant."  
"Somewhere in the Delta Quadrant then," she amended before   
thinking about it. "You might as well spit it out, Mister."   
Tom shrugged. "Okay. I was thinking about your times on New   
Earth. You stated last night that you now don't mind going on camping   
trips compared when you were a child. On New Earth, did you and   
Chakotay camped out in the woods, or were you two always in that   
Starfleet shelter all the time?"  
A fleeting smile came to her. "We did sometimes go out camping.   
Like now, we sat around a campfire, talk, look at the stars, and just   
enjoy life."  
Tom nodded and smiled. "I bet you and he have a holoprogram of   
New Earth on Voyager so you both can return for those romantic   
memories, huh?"   
"What?" Janeway blinked at him in bewilderment. She saw the   
teasing look in his eyes, so she knew he wasn't serious but still the   
question threw her off.  
Uh oh, Tom thought upon seeing her expression. Insert foot in   
mouth, Tommy boy. Nice going. You'll probably be doing KP duty for a   
few days when you return to Voyager. However, there's no backing out of   
this one. With a straight face, Tom repeated what he had said.  
Voyager's Captain took a good guess why he asked that, but she   
wanted to hear it straight from him. "You presumed Chakotay and I are   
romantically attached. Why would you think that?"  
Time to face the music. "Well ever since New Earth, I presumed   
that you and Chakotay were lovers and have carried that relationship   
with you onto Voyager. So I..." He stopped upon seeing her expression.   
"No?"  
Janeway shook her head. "Tom, despite the onboard gossip,   
Chakotay and I are not lovers or involved in a personal relationship.   
We're just friends. That's all."  
This time Tom was the one blinking in stupefaction. "Just   
friends?" She nodded. "But you two spent several months on that planet   
*alone*!"  
She acknowledged that point with a slight nod. "I'll admit that if   
we had spent several more months on New Earth, I might had taken up a   
personal relationship with Chakotay. However, it wouldn't have worked   
onboard Voyager. He and I are so different in our views and thinking. We   
work wonderfully as Captain and First Officer, but the same thing   
wouldn't have made a good relationship.  
"You see Tom, Chakotay is more a person who would rather settle   
down on a planet than wander space. I want to be out there." She pointed   
to the sky. "Exploring space and enjoying the thrill of the unknown.   
That's why I wanted to become a scientist, so I could be on an   
exploratory vessel and figuring out mysteries as they come when we   
explore uncharted territory. Taking up command, I figured I could   
command an exploration vessel of my own, so I could combine elements   
of my science and command skills ethically."  
She took a breath before continuing. "After Voyager came back for   
us, Chakotay and I had a private talk about our relationship. We agreed   
to remain the best of friends, since a romantic relationship may not   
work. Also we did it for the sake of the crew and protocols."  
Tom cocked his head a bit. "'Protocols', Captain?"  
The Captain told him of the Starfleet fraternization protocols   
and regulations. They specified that a captain can't get involved in a   
relationship with anyone under her command.   
Tom cringed upon hearing her words, since her words were exactly   
as he remembered his father, Admiral Owen Paris, said on the *same*   
subject. The elder Paris told his son outright about the need for those   
rules and regulations when Tom was taking Command School. However, Tom   
remembered the moral conflict he'd experienced when the school's advice   
differed from his father's words.  
"Captain, did the *Admiral* teach you about those regulations?"   
he asked but he had a strong feeling what her answer would be.  
"Yes, he did. He told me about them when I first met him at   
the Academy, then when I went to Command School a few years later."  
Frowning, Tom slightly shook his head and turned away from her.   
Some aspects of those fraternization rules have merit but those same   
rules that his father taught Janeway could lead to her undoing the   
longer Voyager stayed in the Delta Quadrant. To remain celibate for more   
than 50 years was not healthy mentally for a human being, even one as   
strong willed as Kathryn Janeway. He owed Janeway a lot and would   
like to see her be happy and content with her life.   
I'm taking a big risk of ruining our friendship, but for her   
sake I'll take *that* risk.  
He turned back to face his mentor and friend, who was watching   
him and waiting for him to say something. "Captain, Command School   
stated that those regulations and protocols are *voluntarily* implied,   
not hard-bonded. You could have a relationship with someone under your   
command if you both can separate your on-duty relationship from your   
personal one. I know from fact that there were many such couples in   
Starfleet when I went to Command School."  
Janeway shook her head not believing him. "It's too risky. The   
crew would say I would be giving favors to the individual as my `pet'   
and that he couldn't be touched in anyway. Plus what happens if I send   
him on a mission that could be fatal? I wouldn't be able to make   
decisions and my emotions would be too strung worrying about him."  
Paris slightly shook his head. "The crew wouldn't be spreading   
the rumor about you and Chakotay, thinking you two being an appropriate   
pair, if they didn't want to see you and Chakotay be happy. They think   
he's the best man for you to pair off, thus they had started thinking   
of you two as a pair.  
"Also, if you really do have feelings for your partner, it would   
be far better knowing you and he care for each other, when either of   
you die on a mission, than dying not knowing at all."  
The young blonde pilot took a deep breath before continuing.   
"Captain, Starfleet never could have guessed about our situation when   
they wrote those rules. They're *useless* out here in the   
Delta Quadrant. The longer we stay here, the more you're risking   
losing your mental health if you continue to deny your essential needs   
for long term survival."  
Janeway narrowed her eyes at him as her anger began to rise.   
"You're walking the thin line, *Mr.* Paris," she grated. She highly   
respected him and cared for him as a friend, but there was a limit she   
would allow *anyone* to mingle into her *private* life.   
Tom didn't budge or hesitate upon seeing her anger. "Hell throw   
me in the brig, I'm not going to allow a friend of mine, who I respect   
highly, to fall. I care for you, Captain. That's a *fact*."  
She was thrown thus she stared at the young man with mouth   
slightly gaping as her anger vanished. Paris had never acted liked this   
before in front of her. He usually tried to cover up by telling a joke   
or something, but this time he seemed not a bit afraid to tell her his   
feelings outright...especially his concern for her welfare and that he   
cared for her.   
Once more she was looking at what Tom truly was, as she had   
glimpsed last night. She knew she had promised not to let him fall, but   
Tom stating *he* wouldn't allow *her* to fall was quite a shock. Her   
heart was pounding a bit upon the revelation.   
Seeing her stunned face, Tom paused for a minute before   
continuing. "The crew wants to see you be happy. I'm sure of that. They   
wouldn't mind you going out on a date with someone under your command.   
As I said before, they wouldn't pair you and Chakotay if they did   
mind."   
The pilot saw his captain was still speechless, so he knew she   
needs time to mull over what had been said. Glancing at his wrist   
chronometer he said, "I'm going to turn-in early. Goodnight, Captain."  
"Goodnight, Tom," Janeway replied softly, voice still indicating   
her shock.  
As the previous night, the young man entered his sleeping bag,   
turned his back to her, and, after a few minutes, was fast asleep.  
After realizing he was asleep, the Captain stared down at her   
clasped hands as she began processing over what Tom Paris told her.  
It was true that Starfleet never could have foreseen such a   
situation where a starship was more than five decades away from home at   
warp speeds. However, I'm the `Captain' and that means keeping myself   
open for the sake of the crew and ship. But Tom said the crew   
wouldn't mind if I have a personal relationship; they want to see me be   
happy. But protocols stated... She shook her head. Her emotions were   
wrung high and she couldn't think straight. She decided to sleep on it.  
Lying in her sleeping bag, she stared up at the night sky,   
which was the same as last night, and wondered what her life would   
be like for the next five decades.   
Hearing Tom turned in his sleep, Janeway moved her head to gaze   
at his face across the fire. His face was softer, boyish and more   
peaceful in sleep, she realized, and the firelight dancing around his   
features made him look softer and handsomer than ever.  
Reflecting on what she had thought about Tom last night, she   
realized that couple years ago, last night, and even now, she trusted   
Tom fully in almost every aspect of her being. So it came to reason that   
Tom had said the things he did because he really *did* care for her.  
Returning to watching the stars, Janeway was aware that Starfleet   
and everyone back home know that Voyager was in the Delta Quadrant, but   
basically Voyager was still on its own. Starfleet had no means to help   
them according to the Starfleet message sent through the alien subspace   
array. Could she really spend five decades shutting out everyone for   
the sake of protocol? To spend a great deal of her life *alone*? To not   
love? To not touch and feel for another? She shuddered at the thought   
of being alone for so long.  
Closing her gray-blues, Janeway remembered she had let go of Mark   
Johnson just after Voyager's *first* wedding many months ago. Only two   
months ago, she had learned that he had gone on with his life as well,   
when she had received a letter from him via the subspace array. She was   
relieved that he had let go of her and found another to love. The shock   
of receiving a `Dear John' letter was less knowing she had already let   
go of him.  
Now knowing she was fully freed from Mark, and Tom already had cut   
through her protocol excuse, she couldn't think of any real reason   
*not* to pursue a personal relationship.   
Falling asleep, Kathryn Janeway's dreams were not pleasant. She   
dreamed she was surrounded by darkness and no matter how loud and hard   
she cried, no one answered. There was no one there. She was scared and   
*alone*.   
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Voyager was travelling through space at warp 4 as they sailed to   
the rendezvous point for the Shuttlecraft Sacajawea. They were one day   
ahead of schedule; the Engineering Team had mined the rosensite   
faster than anticipated thanks to Lt. Torres and Ensign Kim's idea on   
how to get the job done quicker when they had been on the surface   
overseeing the mining. Matter of fact, Commander Chakotay decided to   
by-pass the original rendezvous point and go ahead to meet the   
Sacajawea.  
Meanwhile, just as Voyager had left the star system they were in,   
Torres immediately began overseeing the repairs of the plasma   
converters and the computer core. She had predicted Voyager would have   
the ability to go warp 6 in a day and above `normal cruise velocity' in   
two.  
On the Bridge, everything was going well. Chakotay sat in the   
First Officer's seat, Kim at Ops, Tuvok at Tactical, Hamilton at Helm,   
and other officers working through out the Bridge. Many had good   
feelings that Voyager would be repaired okay and they could finally   
leave the Hirogen Occupation event behind them.  
Suddenly Ensign Kim's station started beeping; alerting him to   
the subspace message the computers had automatically detected. Looking   
at the screen, he immediately saw the message and the importance of it.   
"Commander, we're picking up a Starfleet distress signal. It's faint   
but quite noticeable. It's from the Sacajawea!"  
Chakotay rose out of his seat to face Kim with concern on his   
face. "Origin."  
"It's originating from the system where the Zulkowski crystals   
are," Harry reported.  
Tuvok spoke his views. "It is likely the Captain and Lt. Paris ran   
into trouble that they were not able to escape."   
Chakotay spoke to the air. "Bridge to Torres."  
"Torres here," the reply came from Main Engineering.   
"B'Elanna, how soon can we increase speed to warp 6? We've   
detected a distress signal from the Sacajawea, which means they could   
be in trouble."  
"We're almost done. Another thirty minutes, Chakotay."  
"Understood. Notify us as soon as you're done. Bridge out." He   
turned to the man at the helm. "Hamilton, what would be our ETA to that   
star system if we're able to go warp 6?"  
The helmsman checked the calculations on his terminal. "ETA would   
be in 38 hours."   
Chakotay nodded. "Once Engineering notify us we can increase   
speed to warp 6, do it."  
"Aye, Commander," Hamilton stated his understanding.   
Taking a deep breath, the Indian sat back on his seat again. He   
knew he couldn't increase speed any further than warp 6, so he hoped   
and prayed that Janeway and Paris were okay and they were able to   
survive until Voyager arrived, whatever the reason they had sent the   
distress signal.  
His feelings were mutual throughout the Bridge. By the end of   
the shift, the *entire* crew felt the same.   
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Morning had arrived, and for Janeway and Paris it came too soon.   
In silence, they ate breakfast of some fruit, rations, and water. They   
packed up their gear in silence as well.  
Tom noticed her subdued expression and knew she still was   
thinking about what had been said last night. He also knew it was best   
for her to make the next move to open the air between them, because if   
he did it, she might misinterpret the move as if he was forcing   
himself on her and she wouldn't like that at all.   
So the two started their trek back to the shuttle by a different   
route in silence.   
A couple hours into their journey, the Captain decided to ease   
the silence. She knew Tom was waiting for her to speak first, and she   
very much wanted no hard feelings to come between them. Besides, the   
silence was *too* much to bear!  
"Tom," she began after taking a deep breath, "you've gave me a   
*lot* to think about last night. Hope you didn't take my silence as a   
sign that I'm angry at you."  
Paris had turned to her upon hearing her voice, and now smiled   
lightly at her. "No, Captain, I didn't. I know you need space and time   
to think things over. I'm glad you broke the silence; I don't think I   
could stand it." They passed over a small creek.  
Janeway smiled back at him. "I'm glad too. I value our friendship   
and don't want anything to ruin it."  
"That makes two of us," he agreed with a grin.  
Chuckling, Captain Janeway lightly swatted his arm, before   
turning serious again. "Seriously, I don't know whether I could have a   
personal relationship. Even if the crew wants me to be happy, they   
would still question my ability to command if I started dating, etc."  
Sighing, Tom stopped hiking, which caused her to stop, and looked   
at her face. "Captain, we respect you too much to sink that low. I   
assure you that no matter *who* you go out with, the crew will talk   
about it, that's a fact, but they will not intervene even if they might   
disapprove."  
Then an idea came to him. "Tell you what. When we get back to   
Voyager and everything settles down, how about joining me for dinner on   
the holodeck? This will show you that you can have a normal life like   
everyone else onboard."  
Her gray-blue eyes went wide. "Tom..."  
The young pilot raised a hand to silence her. "A friendly dinner   
between friends. That's all. We can eat, talk, and just enjoy the   
other's company." Then he smirked. "Besides, I owe you for the pool   
game I lost to you last week. I haven't given you any of my rations   
yet, so what better way to pay you than offering dinner at my expense."   
Looking into his light-blues, Janeway knew instantly that he   
meant it. She remembered the dream from last night and the thought of   
being alone gave her a slight chill. However, Tom was offering her a   
chance to see for herself the possibilities of forging a personal   
relationship on Voyager while still being commanding officer. In   
essence, she was alone as long as she chose to be. The risks were high,   
but she also knew she would never know what the rewards would be unless   
she *took* a chance.  
Taking in his handsome face as he waited for her to respond,   
Janeway finally relented to her feelings and leaped over the abyss.   
Her famous lopsided grin spread across her face, and Voyager's   
Chief Helmsman knew what her answer was. "Alright, Tom, I accept your   
invitation, but under *one* condition."  
"And that be...?" he coaxed with a raised eyebrow.  
She smiled fully. "Do *not* serve leola root on the menu."  
Tom Paris laughed out loud from the heart, which prompted Janeway   
to follow. Seeing him laugh like this was a joy for her to see.  
Shaking his head as they continued their journey, Paris knew   
everything would work out between them. "Leola root would never be on   
the menu, Captain. When I serve dinner, there won't be a *speck* of the   
root anywhere."  
"Better not," she poke a finger in his arm, "or else I'll *force*   
feed you leola root for a week!" She teased with merry eyes.   
"Bleaugh!" Paris partially stuck out his tongue in mock disgust.   
"No thanks, I was force fed enough as a baby. Once in a lifetime is   
*enough*."  
Janeway laughed which caused Paris to produce his famous `Paris   
grin'. The Captain swatted his arm again before pushing him forward to   
keep him moving.   
Liked the day before, they hiked and simply enjoyed the adventure   
- walking through the woods, trying to find more edible food stuff, and   
enjoying each other company's. They found couple more edible   
vegetables, and collected more of the tasty fruit they found yesterday.   
When sunset approached, they made it back to the shuttle,   
exhausted yet content with the expedition. They ate before hitting the   
sack. Tomorrow would be another day.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
A few hours after sunrise, Voyager arrived in orbit to find their   
Captain and Chief Conn Officer alive and well. Everyone was quite   
relieved.   
Janeway immediately told the Bridge crew about the encounter with   
the rogue Hirogen vessel. Tuvok and Harry soon adjusted the long-range   
scanners to maximum for any more Hirogen ships, but it seemed the rogue   
vessel had been acting alone.   
In the meantime, Lt. Torres lead a team to repair the Sacajawea   
for a brief flight back to Voyager, while Janeway and Paris led   
gathering parties to pick up stores of the edible vegetables and fruit   
the two had found during their two-day forest expedition. By the end of   
the day, the Sacajawea was safely in the shuttle bay where it could be   
repaired fully, while Voyager's food cache increased from the good   
harvest.  
Once Voyager left orbit, everything slowly returned to normal as   
repairs and life continued with the family whole once more.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
"Captain's personal log: It has been a day since Voyager left the   
Sacajawea System, which Stellar Cartography named after the shuttle Tom   
and I had used. I'm very pleased the mission turned out well despite   
rogue Hirogens and *another* wrecked shuttle."  
A sigh and chuckle could be heard. "I wonder whether Fate will   
ever stop causing us to crash or wreck shuttles. At this rate, we'll be   
left with only Neelix's shuttle for everything!" Janeway gave a short   
laugh.  
"Anyway, Sickbay is now operational again, and the Doctor was very   
happy and pleased to return to his familiar realm. He gave Tom and I a   
clean bill of health yesterday after our ordeal with the Hirogens and   
the few days on Sacajawea IV.   
She paused. "Tom." She paused again. "Tonight, he has reserved   
Holodeck 3 and had asked me to join him there for dinner. I accepted his   
invitation on Sacajawea IV and there's no backing out now. I know this   
will be a dinner between two friends, yet I'm afraid.  
"Me? Afraid? Of Tom Paris? I know I shouldn't be yet I can't shake   
the feeling. I've known Tom ever since I met Admiral Paris at the   
Academy, so there's nothing to fear about him.   
"Yet the Tom I conversed with on Sacajawea IV was far from the   
brash man I met at Auckland only three years ago. He's come a long way   
in the past three years, and I'm damn proud of the progress he made.  
"I believe the Thomas Paris I saw on Sacajawea IV was the *real*   
McCoy emerging from the protective facade he's hidden behind ever since   
Caldik Prime. I've witnessed the walls slowly coming down over the past   
three years, and Sacajawea IV was a glimpse of the brave, compassionate,   
wise, and spirited Starfleet officer and man he *truly* is. I hope, with   
more time, the walls will be down for good."  
Janeway paused and grinned. "You know what? I *like* the man I   
saw. Maybe I shouldn't be afraid after all."  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
Kathryn Janeway, wearing blue slipper shoes and a short-sleeved   
blue dress with skirt halfway up her calves and scooped neckline,   
walked down the corridor toward Holodeck 3. The sides of her short   
cropped hair were pulled back by pins which rolled the hair in curls   
horizontally across the back of her head.   
Crewmembers, who passed the Captain, wondered what was the   
occasion for Janeway to warrant wearing such a dress. There weren't any   
social parties going on anywhere that night, therefore they concluded   
perhaps she was on a date or attending a private party. No doubt, to   
the Captain, the grapevine would spread the news about her by tomorrow.  
Reaching her destination, with no one in sight, Janeway saw that   
the holodeck was in Privacy Lock and programmed to admit only Tom Paris   
and her to enter. Just liked Tom said it would be.   
Upon entering, Janeway found herself on a small dirt trail in the   
middle of the woods. The trees indicated to her she was on Earth but   
not exactly where. The sun was nearly set and night was approaching.   
Following the trail for a couple minutes, she emerged into a   
clearing, where a wooden cabin, with white smoke puffing from its stone   
chimney and soft lights from the windows, stood next to a beautiful   
lake with a boat dock. Tall, snow-peaked mountains could be seen in the   
background.   
A grin formed on Janeway's face from the sight before her. She   
remembered the conversation Tom and she had during the second night on   
Sacajawea IV and immediately knew what she was seeing before her. She   
strolled toward the cabin's front-side, which faced the lake   
about 100 feet away.   
Reaching the front, she walked up the few steps onto the open   
wooden porch deck with extended roof overhang. A few lounge chairs and   
a two-person swing cushion lounge, at one end, were there for those who   
liked to sit and enjoy the view of the lake and mountains.   
With back to the front door, Voyager's commanding officer stood   
and watched, with arms crossed, as night came to the land. It sure was   
a tranquil place to be.   
The front door opened and bathed the outside with soft light from   
the inside. Janeway turned to face Tom Paris, who stood within the   
threshold with a long slender wineglass in hand. She grinned upon   
seeing him.  
Voyager's Chief Pilot was wearing black slacks and shoes, along   
with a light-blue shirt, which enhanced his sapphire eyes. A low V-  
neckline revealed a bit of chest with brownish-sandy chest hair.  
"Welcome, Captain!" he greeted with a smile as he came out to   
stand next to her.   
"Thank you, Tom," she replied still smiling.   
He held out the glass to her. "Here, this for you. Chilled Rossi   
light wine."  
Taking the glass, she took a sip before turning back to view the   
landscape. "This is your grandfather's cabin."  
It wasn't a question but he answered anyway as he gazed where she   
was looking. "Yes, it is. I did a scan of the place before it was sold.   
Sandrine's and this place are the only holoprograms I took with me from   
Auckland.  
"I come here to find some solitude and peace once in awhile. A   
quiet departure from the life of a starship and Starfleet."  
Janeway nodded, understanding the need to let go of being a   
Starfleet officer and just become a normal civilian for even a short   
time. It provided a sense of warmth and familiarity so one didn't   
loose perspective and end up becoming another mechanical soulless   
device of the Great Starfleet Machine.   
"It's beautiful," Janeway commented before turning her head to   
face Tom, who did likewise to her. "Where is it located?"  
"Northern Montana near the Canadian boarder. The Rocky Mountains   
are one of the best places, in my opinion," he smirked, "in North   
America to go during the summer. The program now is set in late   
spring."  
She gave a smile, which caused him to copy.   
After she took another sip of wine, he gestured to the entrance.   
"Come on in, Captain." They walked to the door. "Dinner is cooking in   
the kitchen and it's almost ready."  
"Tom," she halted them at the door with a hand on his forearm,   
"call me `Kathryn'. You can call me by my first name off-duty in   
private. `Captain' is too..." She gave a lopsided grin. "*Formal* under   
these circumstances."   
He blinked a few times at her, not exactly believing she would   
allow him the privilege of addressing her by first name basis. Then he   
gave a slight smile with a nod. "Sure thing... Kathryn." Then he added,   
"Just don't be surprise if I still call you `Captain'; it'll take   
awhile for my brain to get usd to `Kathryn'."  
Kathryn chuckled before entering the cabin first.   
"Understandable. It took Chakotay awhile as well on New Earth to get   
use to calling me `Kathryn'."  
"Really?" Tom asked wide-eyed, following her in.   
"Yep," Kathryn stated as Tom closed the door. "It took him a day   
before he no longer said `Captain' at all."  
The young man chuckled and shook his head at the mental image.   
"Make yourself at home, while I get dinner ready."  
At her nod, Tom went to the kitchen, at the back of the cabin, to   
finish preparing the dinner he was making, leaving Kathryn to gaze   
about the cabin with interest from the entrance.   
To her right, and a step-up, was the dining room, where she saw   
the dining table was set for two with a candle in the middle. Bread and   
wine were alreadyon the table. A china cabinet stood at the far right   
cabin wall of the dining room, while paintings and portraits covered   
the remaining walls.  
To the left, and a step-down, was a spacious living and family   
room. A roaring fireplace was set with a soft comfortable couch in   
front of it, single lounge chair to one side, and couple chairs on the   
other. A square wood coffee table was between the couch and fireplace,   
while smaller square ones situated on each side of the couch. On the   
wall next the fireplace lay a huge bookshelf with pictures and   
trophies lying on the mantle in front of the hard and soft cover books,   
while a 24th century entertainment screen was on the back wall.   
Between the two open rooms was an open hall, with wood guardrails   
on either side. It was big enough for two people to pass. Tom had gone   
down this hall to enter the kitchen, which was a step-up and level with   
the dining room, through a right doorway. Across from the doorway were   
another two doors, even with the hall, which Kathryn guessed one room   
was a bathroom and the other a supply room.   
In the very center of the hall and the cabin itself was a spiral   
staircase which rose to the second floor and the bedrooms. An opening   
in the hall guardrails was at the staircase so people could step-down   
two levels to the living room from the dining room easily.  
Kathryn sighed and simply relaxed into the friendly mood of the   
cabin. It radiated warmth of family and friendship, which she felt   
matched her feelings for Tom perfectly.   
She walked down into the living room and studied the pictures and   
books on the shelves. There were pictures of the entire Paris Family,   
including the Admiral, a very young Tom with an elder Paris, whom she   
guessed was his grandfather, and many others. There were as many   
different kind of books as pictures - poetry, fiction, science fiction,   
history, etc.   
Noticing a book of 20th Century History, she took it out to open   
it to the inner front cover. Kathryn saw writing - "To Tom: You've got   
a brilliant knack for 20th Century stuff! I'll not be surprised if you   
become an expert with a DA in 20th Century History. grin Take care!   
Miss Sally Ride, The Fifth, your ninth grade history teacher"   
Kathryn grinned and shook her head slightly as she placed the   
book back. Tom certainly enjoyed that particular time-period for mostly   
the culture, music, and literature of the time. Of course, he was well   
verse in the dark-sides of the time as well.   
The `flump, flump' of the push-come-back door made her turned to   
see Tom coming out of the kitchen into the dining room with two plates   
of steaming cooked food. Even from the living room, the aroma made her   
mouth water.   
"Dinner is served!" Tom announced grandly placing the plates down   
onto the table.   
She walked up past the spiral staircase to the dining room,   
where Tom gentlemanly held out a chair for her. Kathryn sat down with a   
grin for her pilot. Tom then sat down across from her.  
Biting into her meal, which consisted of butter pasta, green   
beans, corn, fried shrimp, and slices of lamb, Kathryn gave a small   
`mmmmm' of delight. "This is good."  
"Thank you," Tom took the compliment. "I cooked everything   
myself."  
"I never knew you could cook," she eyed him while forking some   
more of the food before sipping wine.  
The blonde man chuckled. "I'm no master chef that's for sure, but   
my mom taught me what she knew. The Admiral didn't approve at first,   
but Mom stated that if I get stranded on a planet even Starfleet   
officers would need to know how to cook in order to survive."  
Kathryn chuckled. "I knew your mother well. She does have a   
certain knack for good cooking, unlike a certain captain." She pointed   
to herself.  
Tom raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Come on, Cap...Kathryn," he   
corrected himself. "You can cook." Seeing her shaking head, he added,   
"No? Your family were `traditionalists', how could you not know how to   
cook?"  
"I can't cook even if my life depends on it." She gave a lopsided   
grin. "My mother did all the cooking while I grew up, and I was also   
bit spoiled on replicated food as well. As a child, I certainly didn't   
want to learn to cook. My sister was more into that than I was.  
"Even here in the Delta Quadrant, I depend on others. Neelix on   
Voyager, and while on New Earth, Chakotay did all the cooking."  
Taking a few more bites, Tom shook his head slightly looking down   
before shrugging. "Oh well. We can't all do everything." He looked at   
her with an impish grin.  
"Precisely," Kathryn grinned back before changing the subject.   
"Your family were bit of `traditionalists' too. Tell me..." she   
mischievously grinned, "have your parents ever made you take tennis   
lessons?"  
Tom blinked a few times before giving a slight grin while holding   
up a finger. "*Once*," he answered before slashing the finger across   
his throat.  
Kathryn laughed at the image of a young Tom Paris in white tennis   
shirt and shorts trying to hit the ball with no avail.   
For the course of an hour, the two ate while talking about their   
childhood memories.   
Tom was amused and surprised to learn his Captain was somewhat a   
spoil rotten princess growing up. She had hated the tennis lessons   
imposed on her, wanting to do Parrises Squares instead. Kathryn even   
told him about her first meeting with then-Cadet Data while on a trip   
to Mars.  
Kathryn in turn learned more about Tom than his father ever told   
her. He too hated tennis lessons, but his father immediately dropped him   
out when Tom smashed the racket up in tiny pieces after the first   
lesson. However, she was elated to know he had taken dancing lessons,   
and that was a first for her. Furthermore, Kathryn enjoyed the stories   
he told of the boyish, teasing times he had with his big sisters. Of   
course, they had made his life miserable in return. In the end, Kathryn   
learned that Tom really loved his mother and sisters very much but his   
father was hardly mentioned at all.  
After the joyous dinner, the two retired to the living room to   
sit on the couch in front of the fire. Kathryn curled up against the   
pillows and cushions on one end, while Tom sat in the middle. She   
ordered some soft music from the computer terminal on the small table   
next to the couch. The combination of music and firelight provided a   
warm refuge from the darkness outside as they continued the topic of   
their childhood memories.  
While on the subject of his teenage years, Kathryn added her   
views of her memories of him then. "I remember the very first time I   
saw you. It was at my first Paris Christmas Party held at your house   
during my junior year at the Academy. You were in your early teens   
then." She gave a warm smile at him. "You were shy at the time.   
Always hiding in the corner waiting for an opportunity to excuse   
yourself to your room early."  
He shrugged as he recalled the times with a slight grin. "I   
didn't like those social parties then. I did enjoy the private family   
ones afterward. Less *intimidating*."  
Kathryn giggled before Tom continued. "I remember you at those   
parties. As a cadet, your hair was a bit mussed and you rather thin."   
He grinned mischievously. "You were pretty gawky."  
She gasped before leaning over to slap his shoulder in mock   
indignity. "I was *not* gawky!" she fumed while he chuckled.  
"Oh?" he teased in challenge.  
Seeing those teasing light-blues made her relent in a soft   
chuckle. "Okay, okay, so I was a bit gawky. However, I certainly wasn't   
when I graduated."   
"Of course not," he agreed. "Two years later when you were an   
ensign, your hair was neatly in place and the Starfleet exercises made   
you more elegantly muscled." He paused, as his eyes became soft and   
face serious. "You were *pretty* then."  
Kathryn softened upon his face and words. "Thank you," she softly   
said.   
"I had a bit of a crush on you during that third party you   
attended." Her mouth opened in surprise at the revelation. "I heard so   
much about you from the Admiral that I was also a bit jealous he had   
been giving you attention." He shrugged a bit as he stared at the fire.   
"When I saw you were different than the previous two years, I realized   
you were pretty. Of course, my hormones kicked in at the time and I   
started noticing girls, but you were the first girl I ever had a crush   
over."   
"Tom," she whispered as she sat next to him, "I didn't know." She   
had no idea the Admiral had talked so much about her to his family. He'd   
certainly talked to her about Tom a good deal. She placed a hand on his   
arm in comfort watching the glow of the fire on his face.  
"Yeah. Well, I was been looking forward to seeing you again the   
next year, and the following year. The next year I hadn't done anything   
to overcome my shyness of girls. However the following year I saw you   
had a boyfriend, so I backed off any thoughts of meeting you in person   
then."  
Then his expression became even more distant and sober "After that   
I never saw you again, because that last year was when..." he trailed   
off as he closed his eyes against the bitter pain.  
Kathryn brought a hand up to caress his cheek, telling him he was   
not alone this time. She finished what he started. "That was the year   
of the Icarus mission. The time your father changed from supportive to   
critical. I know, Tom, because I was there."  
He opened his eyes to look at her. "Yeah, I know. You were on the   
Icarus on your first deep space mission, so obviously you would have   
found out what happen to him."  
Kathryn shook her head as she quickly grabbed both his hands in   
hers. "No, Tom, not that. I was *actually* there when they tortured your   
father."  
"What?" he whispered, staring at her.  
She took a deep breath. "I was with your father when we were   
captured by the Cardassians. I was placed in a small cell as they   
tortured him. His screams were loud and painful. I had no idea how much   
more I could had stand listening to the horror. Lucky we were rescued   
since they were about to do the same to me."  
Tom squeezed her hands, drawing in comfort and warmth as well as   
passing the same onto her. "Kathryn," he softy said her name, "I had no   
idea you were there." He drew her to him in a cuddle with her head on   
his chest.  
"I'm sorry, Tom," she croaked a bit. "If your father had taken   
the advice to attend some counseling, he wouldn't have become so   
critical to your family especially toward you. Things would have been   
different if he had." Kathryn patted and stroked his chest as she   
listened to his heartbeat. "Especially Caldik Prime."  
Tom Paris drew in a breath as he closed his eyes, inhaling the   
smell of her hair as he stroke her back. "Caldik Prime. Will I *ever*   
get rid of that ghost?"  
Kathryn slight shook her head. "No. You will never destroy it,   
Tom. Believe me, I know from experience. It will diminish, but not   
entirely out of existence.   
"We all have our `ghosts' to bear. We learn from it and carry on   
with our lives. We control the `ghosts' not the other way around; or   
else we'll never able to live normal lives."  
Tom nodded but Kathryn sensed he was not entirely convinced.   
"Well, you weren't responsible for killing *three* of your friends," he   
gruff.   
She raised her head to look at him. "Tom, you think you had it   
worst?" Her face caused a cold shiver to run up his spine. "You saw   
three of your *friends* die. I have a `ghost' called `Tau Ceti'.   
I saw my *fiance* and *father* die."  
Kathryn went on to tell the details of the Tau Ceti Crash, which   
Tom only knew was when Admiral Janeway died. She described everything.   
The crash. The desperate struggle to get the transporters operable.   
Finding she could only save her fiance or father but not both. And the   
agony as she watched the ship go under the icy water taking both men to   
their deaths because she wasn't able and willing to sacrifice one for   
the other.   
At the end of her story, she sniffed and cried a bit on Tom's   
chest from the pain of reopened wounds - hers and his. Tom held her and   
soothed her; tears were rolling down his face. "Kathryn, I'm sorry," he   
whispered as she calmed down. "Again, I had no idea. Pretty foolish of   
me thinking I had it worst."  
Kathryn wiped her gray-blues of the remaining tears before   
looking up at him. Seeing his tears, she reached up and tenderly wiped   
them away as she spoke. "As Starfleet officers, we all someday have to   
face our `Kobayashi Maru's. Anyone thinking that space exploration is a   
easy job just doesn't understand that the universe is not a tranquil   
place. We all have to face `ghosts', `demons', and `Kobayashi Marus'   
when we're out here. It's all part of being an officer.  
"Also, as you should know, as `Captain', I have to face lot more   
`ghosts', `demons' and `Kobayashi Marus' than you do." She gazed into   
his soulful sapphires and saw understanding and acceptance, which   
caused her to grin warmly at him. She was pleased that he understood  
perfectly.  
"I understand, Kathryn," he said with conviction before giving a   
slight grin. "I'll *never* question your ability to command. You've had   
my support ever since the Caretaker Incident and will always have it."   
He placed her hand on his chest over his heart to show he meant it.  
A tear roll down her cheek. "Thank you, Tom," she smiled broadly   
with moist eyes. "Your loyalty and support means a lot to me."  
Hearing the beginning of soft dance music, Tom smiled with warm   
eyes. "Care to dance, Kathryn?"  
Her expression matched his. "I'd love to."   
Tom moved the coffee table off to the side to make room in front   
of the fireplace before gracefully accepting Kathryn into his arms.   
They danced slowly to the music with arms around each other, her head   
on his chest, and his cheek on her head. Each enjoyed the sweet   
intimate comfort and warmth that each hadn't felt in a long time.   
Near the end of the song, Kathryn lifted her head to lock her   
eyes with his. Each felt something in their hearts that wasn't there   
before, and each knew from the other's eyes how the other was   
affected.  
She brushed the back of a couple fingers to his cheek with eyes   
still locked. The touch was electrical. "Tom, you're a *very*   
special man. You have a heart big enough to house the entire galaxy.   
Don't ever close out that heart."  
Smiling down at her, Tom slightly nodded. "I have to say the same   
about you, Kathryn. Don't close out your heart either."  
"I promised," she whispered.   
They danced the rest of the music with one pair of hands entwined   
while gazing at each other with affection and admiration. At the end of   
the song, Tom backed a step before bending down to kiss the back of her   
hand while keeping his eyes on hers. She smiled at him with warm eyes   
and a racing heart.   
Looking at the time, Kathryn realized it was time for each to   
return to his/her respective quarters to catch some sleep before waking   
up for their duties tomorrow. She wanted the night to never end, but it   
was expected.  
"As much as I want us to stay here, I think it's time for us to   
return to our quarters, Tom," she announced.  
Voyager's Chief Pilot understood with a slight grin. "If you   
don't mind, I'll stay here awhile longer."  
"Quite understandable," Kathryn softly stated.   
She was about to turn to leave when an idea came to her head.   
"Tom? I have a scuba-diving program you might enjoy. If you want, when   
I'm able to book a holodeck, I'll show it to you. We can swim and   
dive together." Then a grin came to her. "If you're a bit rusty, I'm   
willing to tutor you."  
A warm grin came to the young man. "I'd like that, Kathryn.   
Thank you."  
"Then it's a date," she grinned widely with merry eyes. "I'll see   
you on the Bridge in the morning. Goodnight, Tom. I had a wonderful   
time."  
"Goodnight Kathryn. I had a wonderful time too. I promised I'll   
not call you `Kathryn' on-duty, and I'll keep that promise." He grinned   
teasingly at her.  
"Better not," she pointed at him with a lopsided grin. Then she   
reached up and brought his head down to kiss him firmly on the cheek.   
Afterward Voyager's Captain left the cabin.   
Tom Paris stared after her as she left, and only after she was   
gone, when did he slowly bring a hand to his kissed check.   
She had never kissed him with such affection before, and the   
revelation of the kiss made his heart tighten. He had always admired   
her but he'd never thought of going beyond friendship until now. The   
night had been magical and special, and he realized that Kathryn and he   
were pretty much `birds of a feather' as the expression goes.   
He turned to the fire to gaze into its light as he clasped his   
hands behind his back. Most of his life he had always been alone. He   
had affairs here and there, and one time been engaged, to Ricki who had   
dumped him after Caldik Prime, but he realized he hadn't been really in   
love at the time.   
Coming onto Voyager and the `Caretaker Incident' had changed his   
life dramatically. He had made many new friends, who admired and   
appreciated him for what he was looking beyond the past and his family   
name to the person inside.   
Now it seemed possible that he found someone, who held his heart   
in a way he always wanted to be held. Could Kathryn Janeway be it? Could   
she, the savior of his life and soul, be also savior of his heart? The   
person who could fill the void in his heart with warmth, tenderness, and   
the *love* he'd been seeking all his life?   
Tom closed his eyes and listened to heart. After awhile, a warm   
closed-lipped grin spread across his face before light-blue eyes opened   
with joy.  
Yes, it was *highly* possible that Kathryn Janeway may be the one   
he'd been seeking all his life. To fill the void in his heart and make   
it sing as no one else could.   
He welcomed the idea openly, but *first* he wanted to make sure   
for certain Kathryn was the lady. They'd have to take things slowly and   
determine whether they really were meant for each other. If they found   
it wouldn't work out, then they could remain the best of friends for   
life. However, if they were meant?   
Tom's grin went broader. Well, he wouldn't need to worry anymore   
about being alone, would he?  
Satisfied with the promise the future might hold for him, Thomas   
Eugene Paris left his grandfather's cabin and the holodeck before   
closing down the program. Then he journeyed to his quarters, where he   
went to bed with thoughts of his next `date' with Kathryn Janeway. He   
had pleasant dreams.  
  
*****************=/\=*****************  
  
In Janeway's quarters, Kathryn emerged from her bedroom after she   
had changed into her peach spaghetti-strapped nightgown and brushed her   
auburn hair. She sat into her work desk's chair and tapped a few   
buttons to start her personal log with a warm smile.  
"Captain's personal log, supplement: I have just arrived back to   
my quarters from a *wonderful* time with Tom. We talked a great   
deal about our lives, and in the process, perhaps shared our  
burdens a little. We're pretty much `birds of a feather' as the saying   
goes.  
"By the end of our, what shall I say, *first* date, I realized Tom   
*may* be the man I'm looking for to share my heart. The man I saw on   
Sacajawea IV and the holodeck tonight.  
"I know Starfleet would frown upon the idea of a commanding   
officer being involved in a personal relationship with anyone under her   
command, but after tonight, I can't accept the idea of being alone for   
so long. I want to at least try to see whether such a relationship is   
possible as Tom stated it is. If so, I wouldn't be alone anymore.  
"Tom and I will have to take our relationship slowly in case it   
doesn't work out for us. However, if it does..." Janeway smiled with a   
far away look in eyes. "Well, I certainly wouldn't mind at all.  
"I'm looking forward to our second date together." Janeway paused   
as she frowns at her computer screen on the desk. "If only I could get   
a holodeck free. Damn, they're *all* booked up for the next four days!"  
  
  
The End  
  
*************************************************************  
STAR TREK: VOYAGER is copyright of Paramount Inc. (1998)   
"Breaking of Barriers" and all characters, not created   
by Paramount, are copyright of George Padovan (July 1998)  
*************************************************************   
Voyager: New Life series in order of series'   
chronological history:   
  
"Moving On" (rated PG) [January `98]  
"Breaking of Barriers" (rated PG) [July `98]  
"Night of Passion" (rated NC-17) [December `97]  
"In Debt, Not I!" (rated PG-13) [September `98]  
"Next Step" (rated PG-13) [April '97]   
"The Joining of Hearts" (rated R) [June '97]   
"Unexpected Start" (rated PG-13) [August '97]  
"A Day on the Long Winding Road" (rated R) [September '97]   
"The Bonds of Family" (rated PG-13) [October '97]  
"Love is Forever" (rated R) [March '97]   
"A Day of Motherly Thanks" (rated PG) [May '97]  
"Misfits' Day" (rated PG) [February `98]   
"Change of Style" (rated PG) [March `98]   
**************************************************************  
  



End file.
